How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?
One day you send a letter to your boss asking for an increase in your
salary!
Dear Boss,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be
under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your company.I am $ure you will gue$$ what I
mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, you received this letter of reply:
Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the
newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United
States may go into aNOther recession. After the November presidential elections
things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Oneliners contributed by Nirmal Joshee
Some of Rodney Dangerfield's one-liners:___ ___ ___
"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery
plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!'"
"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me:
`Basement?'"
"When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one
showed up."
" I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's
nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home."
"When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they
got rid of me."
"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both
names — hers and her mother's."
"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."
"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother." Aur ye
Shayari by Nirmal Joshee
Meri taqdeer men likhi huee hai gehraaeeMain apni fiqar men dooba hua
samundar hoon
Kitne parwaane jale raaz yeh paane ke liyeShama jalne ke liye hai na jalaane ke
liye
Parakhna mat parakhne mein koi apna nahin rehtaKisi bhi aaieene mein der tak
chehra nahin rehta
Bade logon se milne mein hamesha faasla rakhna Jahan dariya samandar se mila
dariya nahin rehta
Why Newton committed suicide?? by Manoj Joshi
When he finally arrived in India, he decided to watch a Tamil movie and soon was
convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk, and
apologized for everything he had done. In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was
confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes:
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured
and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, the great Rajanikanth is shot in
the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away
the tumor along with it and he is cured. “Long Live Rajanikanth.”
2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth
has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess what he does? He holds a knife
in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the
knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each
side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but he has no
bullets in it. Guess, what he does? Nah.... not even in your remotest imaginations.
He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth
opens the bullet compartment of his Revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he
closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....
This was already too much for Newton to take and he was completely shaken and
he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and
thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie
goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so
fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other
side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like
one of those superman techniques that Indian heroes normally use. Rajanikanth
has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Sir Newton is smiling
since he thinks it is virtually impossible)..
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He
throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he
shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun
fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits Suicide. !!!!!!!!!!
