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Kumaoni.com
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A meeting place for Paharis of Kumaon Hills
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Humour 2
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Funny pcitures by Manoj Joshi (Click on pictures to enlarge.........)
Guidelines for life contributed by Girish Joshi
Guidelines for life
Whenever by Girish Joshi
Whenever
Moments by Nanadan
Moments
Joke contributed by Nirmal Joshee
The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home.
He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling: "CAREFUL !!!
CAREFUL !!!MORE OIL !!!TURN THEM !!!TURN THEM NOW !!!WE NEED MORE OIL !!!
THEY ARE GOING TO STICK !!! CAREFUL !!! CAREFUL !!!TURN THEM !!! TURN
THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL !!! USE MORE
SALT !!! THE SALT!!!!"
The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you
yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"
The husband calmly replies: "This is to show you what it feels like for me
when I am driving and you sit next to me..."
Ten tips for happier life contributed by Girish Joshi
Ten tips for happier life
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Joke contributed by Mukesh Singh Bhist
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while His
wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at
home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with
mine for a day. Amen.
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked
breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them
breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up
the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a
deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid
the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed
the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the
laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to
pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk
and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the
ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the
pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper,he cleaned the
kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids,! and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went
to bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through
without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I
don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay
ho me all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, repli! ed, "My son, I feel you have learned your
lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just
have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."
... Voted Women's Favorite Email of the Year !
Shayari byNandanji......
O' Mahi
O Mahi mere sun le tu, Sun le tu zara dil ki ye sada
O Mahi mere sun le tu, Sun le tu zara dil ki ye sada
Tu saase meri, Dhadkan hai meri, Tu dil ki hai Duniya..Duniya
Tu saase meri, Dhadkan hai meri, Tu dil ki hai Duniya..Duniya
Tu mere khabo me, Tu mere khabo me
Tu khayalato me, Tu dil ki raho me
Meri to in saaso me tu, Meri to in baato me tu, Tu hi tu he janejaa
Tu hi tu he janejaa, Tu saase meri, Dhadkan hai meri, Tu dil ki hai Duniya..Duniya
Tuhi mera geet hai, Sangeet hai, Tuhi saragam.......
Tuhi mera prit hai, man-mit hai, Tuhi humdam........
Tu saase meri, Dhadkan hai meri, Tu dil ki hai Duniya..Duniya
Tu saase meri, Dhadkan hai meri, Tu dil ki hai Duniya..Duniya
Teri Adaa, Sab se juda, Kushbu teri, Mehki hawa
Jalti hai tu , Jalta hai dil, Jalta hai dil, Jina Mushkil (2)
India.....India.....India.....India
Sun ja zara, Di ki sada, Tu hai mera, Bas hai mera
zindagi tu meri, Bandagi tu meri,
Har khushi tu meri, Tu meri sar zami
India.....India.....India.....India
Ger yaha, apna hua, Koyi suna, sapna saja
Hasti hai ti, hasta Hai dil, Hasta Hai dil, tu hi manzil
Zindagi tu meri, Bandagi tu meri...
India.....India.....India.....India
Teri waffa, ka kya khena, Mitti teri, ban gayi duaa
Roti hai tu, rota hai dil, Rota hai dil, koyi hai katil
Zindagi tu meri, Bandagi tu meri....
India.....India.....India.....India
Teri zuba, suro ka saya, Fizayee teri, haka dhua
Nache hai tu, nache hai dil, Nache hai dil, saji mehfil
Zindagi tu meri, Bandagi tu meri....
India.....India.....India.....India
India.....India.....India.....India
Dil to Hai Dil
Dil to hai dil, ye koyi chiz nahi
Phir bhi ye tere pyra se aaziz nahi
Meri jaan tum kya jano ye dil hai kya
Dil ko dil samjaa tumne hargiz nahi
Teri baho me zindagi guzarne ki tamanna ki thi
Tumhe aapna banane ki koyi shajiz nahi
Me tumhe Ishq ka khuda samajta raha hu
Mere pyar ki, tere dil par koyi bandish nahi
Yaaden
Ruk kar raat, thaher gayi hai wahi
Adhuri baat, rahe gayi hai wahi
Zaraa sa mud ke dekha
Usi yaado ke mode par
Teri tasvir nazar aayi thi
Meri takdir nazar aayi thi
Panahe thi tere pyar ki
Tere baho ke sahare the
Jab nikla dil, in sapno ki yaado se
To chaaro aur tanhaai thi
Tera pyar, na teri bahe thi
Bas ek me thi,
Aur mere dil ke rone ki aawaze thi
Zindagi
Kuch kadam saath diye jati hai
Kuch kadam dur kiye jati hai
Zindagi ka bhi kya bharosa hai
Hum to bas yuhi jiye jate hai
Ha kabhi chhupke se gumo ko siye jati hai
Aur kabhi haske do sason ko liye jati hai
Zindagi ka bhi kya bharosa hai
Hum to ji ji ke mare jate hai
Chand roz ke dor me zaher ko piye jati hai
Aur kabhi bin kahe ye jaan liye jati hai
Zindagi ka bhi kya bharosa hai
Hum to mar mar ke jiye jate hai
Kuch kadam kato pe chalati hai
Kuch kadam phoolo pe sulati hai
Zindagi ka bhi kya bharosa hai
Hum to bus yuhi jiye jate hai
Mohobaat
Mohobaat hai duniya
Mohobaat hai dariya
Mohobaat karam hai
Mohobaat dharam hai
Mohobaat dilo ki aajab dasta hai
Kabhi kho ke payi,
Kabhi paa ke khoyi
Mohobaat hawa ka ek halka sa jhoka
Kabhi chu gaya, to
Kabhi chu ke nikla
Mohobaat samandar ki gheraiya hai
Koyi tair nikla
Koyi dub haara
Mohobaat ki saaso me bhi shokhiya hai
Kabhi haas diye, to
Kabhi chot khayi
Mohobaat khuda ka ek nazuk sa tofaa
Kahi tutt jaye, to
Jode jude na
Bade dilkashe hai mohobaat ke waade
Kabhi hai wafaai
Kabhi ruswaai
Mohobaat dilo ki aajab dasta hai
Samaj ke bhi, humko
Samaj me na aayi
Wahi Pe Kahi Ruk Jaanaa
Na rukegi samay ki ye dhara, kahi pe bhi ye hai mana
Rukna chaho samay ki dhara, wahi pe kahi ruk jana
Jaha dilbar se mile akhiya, wahi pe kahi ruk jana
Do dilo kaa jahaa bhi ho milna, wahi pe kahi ruk jana
Na rukegi samay ki ye dhara, kahipe bhi ye hai mana
Jukne se na badal jukega, kahi pe bhi ye hai mana
Par mano hamara kehna, wahi pe kahi juk jana
Jaha dilbar ka ho basera, wahi pe kahi juk jana
Suno unke payro ki aahatt, wahi pe kahi juk jana
Jukne se naa badal jukega, kahipe bhi ye hai mana
Pyar Hai
Pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Haa hume pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Hum ko manzoor hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Dil ko Ikraar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Dil ki nazuk rage...tutetii hai yaha
Vo nigaahe ye dil...lutetii hai yaha
Kya kahe ab to hoto pe ye baat hai
Ha tumhare humare dil ke ek taar hai
Ha hume pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Hum to sote hue, jagte hai yaha
Kheriyat dil ki, mangte hai yaha
Dil ke aarma lutaa ne ki ye raat hai
Kya kahe jaan gavaa ne ki ye raat hai
Ha hume pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
Jee hume pyar hai, pyar hai, pyar hai
